HIV = HUMILITY, INTEGRITY, VICTORIOUS

As I consider the focus on Men's Health in the month of June, I reflect on a special young man that has made a life changing impact on me. One might argue that this young boy could not be classified as a man by any standards, nor for that matter by the Oxford Dictionary however his age and frail being are hardly what defines him as a man. He was but a boy who died in his teens yet in all reality he was braver than many other who so glibly call themselves a man.

Nkosi Johnson life was short lived and I never had the privilege of standing in his presence, and yet he made an impression on me that few men have made. In a video clip made to promote a living positively publication, this brave young man relates how he was asked by a friend at school if he was sick and in total humility and with and unrivalled bravely, his sad little eyes looking straight into the camera he answers, "Yes I am sick". His friend then asks him, "What is wrong?" With his head held high he responds "I have HIV".

No matter how many times I have watched this video a tear always comes to my eye. Not a tear of sadness for a boy’s life so brief, I weep in sadness that I never had the privilege to kneel down and listen to what this brave soul could have taught me. I consider the many that are quick to call themselves men and yet have not had the courage to break the silence, or take responsibility for being infected with exactly the same illness this brave boy had. How many have died in denial to ashamed to admit the reality as Nkosi so bravely did?

What makes a man? Is it the ability to lie and deceive or does truth, honesty and humility make the man? Personally it is this young man that I wish to follow. As I started coming to terms with my own HIV status I made a decision to never deny that I am infected with HIV for if one so young could be brave enough to stand up at the International AIDS Conference and deliver the opening address at a time when the president of his country was in denial about the existence of HIV, then surely I too in his honour must follow his path and break the silence and speak the truth without shame, brave and yet so humble. Nkosi you gave me heart for you taught me to be courageous but with humility.

Last year I was fortunate to be in the presence of a wise man who addressed a classroom of newly trained HIV/AIDS Peer educators from the SAPS in Pretoria. Newly appointed as the head of corporate and employee wellness the general was addressing the candidates at the completion of a 4-day training programme, I had presented. He told a story of a man who wanted to leave a legacy behind before he died and was looking for some way of doing so that would stand the test of time.

He consulted an elder in his village who suggested he write his story in the sand on the beach. He proceeded to do so but no sooner had he started than the tide came in and washed away what he had written. He went back to the elder and told him what had happened and the wise elder told him of a huge oak tree that had stood for many years on the banks of a river on the outskirts of the village. Go and carve your story in the bark of the tree surely it will remain for all to read for eternity. The man did as told but half way through carving his legacy in the tree a team of workers arrived and told him they had come to chop down the tree to make way for a new bridge that was being built across the river.

Disheartened the man returned again to the elder and told him what had happened. Ah, said the elder, it would be wise to engrave your legacy in the rock face of the mountains over looking the village. At last the man thought this would stand the test of time and he would leave his legacy for all to admire throughout time.

He set about the laborious task spending years engraving his legacy in the rock face. Finally the task almost complete, he returned one last time to hammer the final few words into the rock face. But as he climbed the mountain he noticed that the weather had eroded the rock in so many places that his legacy was fading with time. Totally disheartened he went in search of the elder and found him on his death bed.

Sadly he told the old man what had happened and the elder said you have spent your years trying to leave a legacy in sand, wood and stone and yet nothing has remained and stood the test of time. What have you learnt? The man said he did not know! He begged the frail old man to share the secret. How do I leave a legacy that will stand the test of time? Before the elder could answer he passed away.

In sadness the man left and as he walked through the village the news of the elders passing was being related to the people in the village. The man heard people telling stories of the greatness of the elder, the kindness of his dreads, stories of his honesty and integrity and great wisdom. Suddenly the man understood. Write your legacy on the hearts of man and your legacy will stand the test of time.

As the general ended his story he told those he was addressing that they where wise just like the elder of the village. Making a difference in the lives of others would stand the test of time. The decision that they had made to set themselves apart, volunteering as HIV/AIDS peer educators would leave a legacy in the hearts of many.

As a person living with HIV I am often referred to as a sufferer, or a victim of AIDS. I have seen lesser words take away the power of greater men. What happened that gave me the strength and courage to never hear these words as a sword driven into me heart or soul but always as an opportunity to educate, and change the minds of those I come into contact with? I feel so small at times and wonder how I can possibly make a difference. It is at these times that I remember the boldness of a young man telling his friend that he has HIV. I hear his friend ask him, "Are you going to die?" And I hear Nkosi Johnson's sweet angelic voice answer. "Yes I have AIDS."

I am HIV positive and thanks to Nkosi Johnson's legacy I have become victorious as in his honour I embrace and take ownership for my status. Yes, I too will one day die more likely of an AIDS related illness but I have had the privilege and been given the opportunity to write my legacy in the hearts of many.

I challenge all men to stop the silence, denial and shame around HIV. As men we have the power to stop the spread of this virus but only if we take ownership and cast away the denial we can leave a new legacy, one that stand for HUMILITY, INTEGRITY and VICTORY.

By: Alan Brand

Positively Alive
www.positivelyalive.co.za - Employee Consultant and Specialist HIV and Employee Wellness Training provider

www.Positivey-Alive.com in support of HIV+ gay, bisexual and transgender (MSM) men in South Africa

Who can I blame for my HIV status – Dealing with unresolved anger?

“Feeling guilty is a learned response. You’ve been told to feel guilty about yourself for things you did before you could even do anything.” – Neale Donald Walsch [1]

I have often been asked what my initial response was to being diagnosed with HIV. I have tried to reflect back and recall my emotional response on that afternoon in January 1997. All I can remember was having an overwhelming sense of numbness and a feeling of guilt and shame.  Who do I blame for this? All I could think at the time was what an idiot I was; did I really think this would not happen to me?

I guess it would be easy to accept that an HIV+ diagnosis would initially result in feelings of shock and disbelief.  When this initial emotion subsides one is left with a feeling of complete numbness. Especially back in 1997, for me at that time, I had nobody to fall back on, no institution or counsellor to talk to. I could not tell my loved ones as I was totally overwhelmed with a sense of guilt and shame.

The doctor had not even told me she was doing an HIV test when she took my blood for as part of a routine health check. Let’s do a full blood count she had said, not mentioning that she was including an HIV test. When I got the call to make an appointment to receive the result of the “full blood count” I had not given any thought to what the test would be for and hence bounced into the doctor’s rooms as cheerful as always. Without any counselling or warning she pronounced the verdict “your HIV results came back positive” she said, and then proceeded to hand me a slip of paper on which she had written the details of an HIV specialist whom she recommended I make an appointment with. And that was that, nothing more and nothing less. No counselling, information from the medical doctor I had come to trust and called my home doctor.

Many years have past since that day and now I find myself in the fortunate position of being able to provide counselling and support to newly diagnosed individuals. One of the biggest stumbling blocks that continues to limits or hinders the person from breaking through to acceptance and forgiveness is the issue of unresolved anger and a desire to seek out who to blame.

FORGIVE; you might say… what for? Why forgive the person that infected me! If I see him/her on the street I will …..! I can see the feeling of anger well up like a volcano about to erupt! One needs to embrace the reality that these feeling of anger, resentment and loss are all normal and they must be expressed. However, to remain in anger would be to deny oneself the freedom of forgiveness. It was only when I could honestly say that my HIV status was my fault, that I had loaded the pistol and pulled the trigger, that I was able to start a process of forgiveness.

By forgiving you do not condone the actions of others nor do you validate the right that the HI virus has to be in your body. Forgiveness is only fully achieved when one understands that to forgive in itself is a selfish act. I do not forgive the person who infected me for their sake, I do so to release myself and set myself free. I do not accept the virus and forgive it for entering my body, for I did not invite it in, I do so because through forgiveness I take back the power to control my future.

Forgiveness does nothing to the person that it is delivered towards, but it does bring about the miracle of healing in the heart of the forgiver.  So feel your anger and express your loss but do not tally there too long as the long you remain in the dark pit of anger, the longer you will sink into despair and the only person who will suffer will be you.

Rather be selfish and start the journey of forgiveness, forgive yourself, forgive the virus, forgive the person that infected you and on and on the path of forgiveness will lead you. Without forgiveness you are bound to the dark and unresolved feelings of anger and hatred that will consume you. Anger will do nothing but harm you.

“Forgiveness is the path to self-love, and self-love is the key to inner healing. We all make the wrong choices in life at times and we can go through the rest of our lives criticising ourselves for these choices. If we continue to blame ourselves we are bound to that mistake for the rest of our lives. Just as we had the choice then, we have the choice today to release ourselves from that bondage through forgiving ourselves. Forgiving yourself for contracting HIV, for example, or for having unprotected sex, will enable you to move forward, to face others and yourself, and to open the way to loving yourself.[2] 

Through forgiveness release the past and all past experiences.

Continue into the light with love.

Alan Brand

Employee Wellness Consultant

Positively Alive

www.positivelyalive.co.za

albrand@iafrica.com

Alan is also the site administrator of the support network for HIV+ gay, bisexual and transgender men (MSM) in South Africa -Positively Alive  for more details visit www.Positively-Alive.com  

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[1] From Conversations with God, Book 1 on feelings of guilt.

[2] Positively Alive, by Alan Brand, Published by Jacana Media (Pty) Ltd. 2005

Positively Alive - Employee Wellness Consultant and Specialist HIV/AIDS Training Facilitator

AIDS, HIV, TB, absenteeism management, Peer educator, Counselling Skills, Champions of wellness and much much more,

Employee Wellness training provider and facilitator. 

Specialising in; HIV/AIDS Peer Educator/Wellness Champions Training Modules, HIV/AIDS Awareness Training Module and Managing Wellness in the Workplace – Policy and Law Training Modules.

Should you require on site employee wellness training, contact Alan Brand for a formal quotation or for further details regarding the courses provided, accreditation or much more.  Available to conduct training througout South Africa.

POSITIVELY ALIVE ^cc

Employee Wellness Consultant and Specialist Trainer

CK2010/00285/23

Alan Brand

Mobile: +27 (82) 453-0560

Direct Line: +27 (11) 482-5605

Fax to mail: 086 245 6833

E-mail: albrand@iafrica.com
Website: www.positivelyalive.wozaonline.co.za/home

Employee Wellness Consultant, Motivational Speaker and Specialist Wellness Trainer

1 November 2011, a new beginning with new and exciting prospects awaiting me as I embark on my own and start my own employee wellness consultancy.
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For details on this new endevour.

Brief Historical outline of HIV and AIDS – South Africa.

Introduction:


An estimated 5.6 million people were living with HIV and AIDS in South Africa in 2009, more than in any other country. It is believed that in 2009, an estimated 310,000 South Africans died of AIDS. Prevalence is 17.8 percent among those aged 15-49, with some age groups being particularly affected. Almost one-in-three women aged 25-29, and over a quarter of men aged 30-34, are living with HIV. HIV prevalence among those aged two and older also varies by province with the Western Cape (3.8%) and Northern Cape (5.9%) being least affected, and Mpumulanga (15.4%) and KwaZulu-Natal (15.8%) at the upper end of the scale.

Marking a welcome change from South Africa's history of HIV the South African Government launched a major HIV counselling and testing campaign (HCT) in 2010.

By raising awareness of HIV the campaign aims to reduce the HIV incidence rate by 50 percent by June 2011.

History:

1982 – The first HIV infections were diagnosed in South Africa in two white, homosexual flight attendants who had travelled to the United States. This lead to the belief that HIV was largely a white, homosexual disease in SA, as was the case in the US and Europe. As a result, the homophobic apartheid government, which was in power at the time, disregarded the health risk and ignored the issue.

1987 – The first black South African was diagnosed with AIDS-related illness.

1990, Chris Hani, chief of the ANC guerilla force (known as ‘Spear of the Nation‘) said, ‘Those of us in exile are in the unfortunate situation of being in the areas where the prevalence is high. We cannot afford to allow the AIDS epidemic to ruin the realization of our dreams. Existing statistics indicate that we are still at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic in our country. Unattended, however, this will result in untold damage and suffering by the end of the century.' Chris Hani was tragically assassinated shortly before democracy was achieved.

1991 – Heterosexual HIV infection rates equalled homosexual ones. (Heterosexual infections has since become the main mode of transmission of the virus in SA)

Coinciding with the turbulent political period, HIV and AIDS started to gain national public interest though it is not difficult to understand why all energy was focused on deciding South Africa’s political fate seeing the need to address a complex and tough negotiation process needed to end apartheid.

1992 – ( a decade after the 1st reported case), a group of political parties, trade unions, academics, business organisations and civil society groups formed the National AIDS Coordinating Committee of South Africa (NACOSA).

1994 – South Africa’s first democratic elections, and the ANC Government adopted a National AIDS Plan – but the scheme hardly translated into action.

Scandals: - made situation worse!

Sarafina II – A musical screenplay which was supposed to raise awareness of HIV and AIDS was judged widely to be beside the point and confusing. The government funded play used large amounts of unapproved European Union money.

Virodene - South African Government caused worldwide embarrassment when it committed millions to medical trails of an antiviral drug Virodene. Virodene was found to contain a toxic industrial solvent.

1998 – Aids Activists and researches called for the scientifically approved drug AZT to be administered to prevent transmission of HIV from mother to child. ANC turned down this call arguing it would rather focus on education and prevention campaigns then treatment.

HIV-positive AIDS activist Zackie Achmat formed the TAC in December 1998.

1999 – Newly elected president Thabo Mbeki appointed Manto Tshabalala-Msimang as health minister, heralded an even stronger stance against antiretroviral drugs. Mbeki’s questioning if HIV causes AIDS adding to the conflict between organisations like the TAC.

2001 – Death of presidential spokesperson Parks Mankahlana, Official ANC statement reported that his death was due to heart failure after a long illness. When the SA media speculated that his illness was AIDS related, it sparked heated national debate on the ethics of HIV reporting, including objectivity, privacy.

Court Cases

2002 – The TAC and Children’s Rights Centre filed a court motion and later a constitutional claim against the health minister and provincial MEC’s to compel them to make Nevirapine available to women giving birth in state hospitals. The court ruled in favour of the TAC in 2001 and again in July 2002.

2003 – TAC focuses shift to pushing government to roil out ARV treatment through the public Health system. When health minister refused to sign a draft national treatment plan, the TAC launched a civil disobedience campaign. More than 10,000 people protest in front of parliament during Mbeki’s State of the Nation address.

19 November 2003, Cabinet finally announces the health department would make available ARVs to all who need them.

2004 – 2005 Rollout of ARVs slow with treatment guidelines only being issues in September 2004 and supplies of ARVs only being selected in March 2005.

2006 - Tshabalala-Msimang insists that a healthy diet and nutritional supplements, including garlic, beetroot and the African potato, could offer an alternative to ARV treatment. Stephen Lewis, publicly slated Tshabalala Msimang’s statements at the 2006 International AIDS Conference in Toronto Canada. At the same conference, AIDS law Project leader Mark Haywood demanded that the health minister be fired.

Tshabalala-Msimang was hospitalised in late 2006 and her deputy Nozizwe Mandlala-Routledge with Deputy President Phumzilie Mlambo-Ngcuka made major steps to bring back the reputation of the South African National AIDS Council (SANAC), attempting to repair the damaged relationship with civil society organisations, particularly the TAC.

2007 – Government launched its progressive HIV and AIDS and STI Strategic Plan for SA 2007 – 2011, indicating a shift in its health policy. Its main objective being to provide ARV treatment to 80% of people who need it and to half new HIV infections by 2011.

Later that year Mbeki sacked Madlala-Routledge, allegedly because she was too critical of her predecessor and himself. Tshabalala-Msimang was reinstated resulting in the newly built bridges between the department of health and civil society groups quickly crumbling yet again.

2008 – Tshabalala-Msimang finally lost her post to Barbara Hogan in September 2008. Hogan’s term was short lived despite her popularity and commitment to cooperate with civil society.

2009 – Newly elected president Jacob Zuma appointed a previously little-known politician Aaron Motsoaledi to the position of health minister. Aaron Motsoaledi has so far made a number of positive statements, showing intention to tackle the epidemic and improve health services provision.

2010 - For the first time in the history of the South African epidemic, a real properly resourced HIV testing campaign was launched. Minister of Health Dr. Aaaron Motsoaledi is leading the largest every HIV testing drive on the continent with a target to test 15 million people by June 2011

References:


Kirsten Palitza, Natalie Ridegard, Helen Struters and Anton Harber “What is Left Unsaid” Published by Fanele an imprint of Jacana Media (PTY) Ltd on behalf of the Anova Health Instutute, in 2010


Fidel Hadebe, Vukani Mnyandu; Department of Health, 22 Feb 2011


Center for Law and Social Justice, Minister Aaron Motsoaledi delivers — 15 million people to be tested. Get tested. Prevent HIV. Get treated. Always use a condom!


Professor S Karim, University of Natal, King George V Avenue, Durban 4041, South Africa, International Epidemiological Association 2002


Sher R. Acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) in the RSA. S Afr Med J 1986


http://www.avert.org/history-aids-south-africa.htm

June 5, 2011 will mark 30 years since the first cases of AIDS were reported

June 5, 2011 will mark 30 years since the first cases of AIDS were reported in the US. Over the next few weeks I will feature articles, press releases, historical time lines etc as we looking back at the past 30 years.


Key would be a focus of the South African response (or mostly lack of response) and in particularly the effects that stigma and intolerance towards those affected by HIV and AIDS have had on our ability to respond appropriately over the past 3 decades, both internationally and in South Africa.

30 years later one has to reflect back and assess both the failures to respond effectively but also to highlight milestones and successes in the collective consciousness of mankind to respond to the news of a new “deadly CANCER discovered that affects homosexuals”, in June of 1981 in the US.

The first case of HIV infection in South Africa was reported in 1982 and this heralded the start of the first wave of the HIV epidemic.

In 1990, Chris Hani, chief of the ANC guerilla force (known as ‘Spear of the Nation‘) said, ‘Those of us in exile are in the unfortunate situation of being in the areas where the prevalence is high. We cannot afford to allow the AIDS epidemic to ruin the realization of our dreams. Existing statistics indicate that we are still at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic in our country. Unattended, however, this will result in untold damage and suffering by the end of the century.' Chris Hani was tragically assassinated shortly before democracy was achieved.

At times as we reflect back we will need to remind ourselves of the hard facts of intolerance, and ignorance but mostly importantly it will allow us to raise our collective voices as we remind ourselves of the accomplishments in the past 30 years, and to honour all those who have died from the disease.

Focus on the positives and lets make this World AIDS Day "AYOBA"

Published in the 2010 World AIDS Day edition of The Ripple Effect.

Written by: Alan Brand (Guest Editor)

At a recent conference I was asked by a delegate why after so many years and after so much manpower, money and investment, medically, emotionally and scientifically we are still not stemming the tide of HIV and AIDS. It must be mentioned that the person who asked the question is very active in the fight against HIV and has dedicated her time and efforts to educate and assist those infected by the disease. It was with a sense of exhaustion and from being emotionally overwhelmed that she asked the question. I do not believe that I was ready to answer the question at the time, but already a seed was busy germinating in my mind and heart, one which I have not been able to express fully until now. It seems that this concept has finally come to fully blossom and IT IS AYOBA!

Consider the sense of goodwill, joy and wellbeing experienced and expressed during the 2010 World Cup by both South Africans and the international guests. Even the prophets of doom and gloom had to bite their tongues and concede that their predictions had failed and we had achieved something to be truly proud of. Not only did serious crime incidence drop in South Africa during the world cup but this was the experience around the world.

Here are some quotes proving the effects that the positive energy had in South Africa and internationally:

Nepalese capital Kathmandu recorded a drop in crime and accidents since the start of the 2010 FIFA World Cup™ - police recorded 156 incidents of crime in the month of June, compared with 497 reports during two weeks preceding the tournament, Kantipur newspaper reported.

The Business Consumer Index (BCI) rose by 2.8 index points to 84.8 points in June, says the South African Chamber of Commerce and Industry. The 2010 FIFA World Cup™ tournament raised positive sentiment domestically and internationally. The success of the tournament could boost domestic business confidence despite indications that the global economy may suffer a depressed economic outlook for the medium term," said the Chamber. (Sacci)

The total number of foreign tourists to South Africa during the 2010 FIFA World Cup™ might be close to 400 000, says consultancy Grant Thornton, with higher than expected African air arrivals and huge numbers from countries whose teams did well contributing to the figure.

Now consider the reality of HIV/AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa and how easy it is to fall into the trap of becoming a profit of doom when we focus on the statistics and history of the epidemic. How much energy have we spent on promoting the negative, highlighting our failure to stem the tide and putting the spotlight on the lack of political will, slow implementation and access to treatment and prevention of mother to child transmission of HIV and AIDS? I can go on and on and on and IT IS NOT AYOBA. No wonder that all this negative messaging contributes towards a sense of hopelessness and inadequacy in the collective and individual conscience of all South Africans and for that matter the entire sub-Saharan African region.

From the point of view that recognises the basic “laws of attraction” that operates within each person’s life and the universe as a whole is it at all not surprising then that these negative messages have acted as a “magnetic field” influencing the effectiveness of HIV and AIDS awareness and interventions to date?

The time has come to stop the negative energy and messages around HIV and AIDS as surely by now we must be aware that it has not been a successful tool in preventing the spread of the epidemic. I believe that all it has done is make people, institutions and governments feel so overwhelmed that the only possible response is one of denial, apathy and inactivity.

The South African CAPRISA presentation received a standing ovation (a rare medical conference occurrence) at the 2010 World AIDS Conference in Vienna for its study on the tenofovir gel spermicide. Another hot conference topic was test-and-treat as a public health method for curtailing the pandemic resulting in many attendees of the 2010 World AIDS Conference headed home feeling optimistic about the future of the HIV/AIDS pandemic.

South Africa has the largest number of people accessing ARV’s in the world. It is further estimated that 2.3 million life-years have been added due to introduction of antiretroviral therapy in sub-Saharan Africa during 1996–2008

Indications are that, between 2006 and 2010, South Africa is experiencing the plateau of the HIV curve with positive indications, that this trend will continue and a reduction in new infections will be a reality of the future.

By emphasising the successes and the reality that we have not yet been defeated, we can and will be victorious in the war against the HI virus. We no longer need to be pessimistic and in tribute and honour to the many that have died we owe it to our children and the future to rise above the “can’t do attitude” and boldly raise our hearts and minds as we spend energy and our collective intellectual capacity to a united, focused political will as we continuing the positive achievements. 2010 has the potential to herald a new era of innovation in fighting the virus.

On a personal note, working with Positively Alive©, a support group for HIV positive men in South Africa, I can testify that members, including myself, in the past did not consider a future and the potential of growing old, they are having to reconsider their futures as with access to treatment and care they are not only living healthy full and complete lives with HIV but are able to engage in relationships without putting others at risk of infection and have to consider the real possibility that they have the potential to reach all and any future dreams and aspirations. AND THAT IS TRULY AYOBA!