Valentine's Message 14 Feb 2013 - STI and Condom Awareness Week 10 - 16 February 2013
Love hurts,
love scars
Love wounds,
and marks
Any heart,
not tough
Or strong
enough
To take a
lot of pain
Take a lot
of pain
Love is like
a cloud
Holds a lot
of rain….
The above
lyrics come from the famous song “Love Hurts", written and
composed by Boudleaux Bryant and first recorded by “The Everly Brothers” in
July 1960.
Love is that
intense feeling of deep affection for someone and expressed through a deep
romantic or sexual attachment. So does
love hurt?
Alicia Keys
reminds that “Love is blind”. So many songs have been written about the
emotions, feelings and realities of being in love. Is
love blind?
A simple
quick answer would not be sufficient to satisfy all that the mystery of love
brings with it. This article by no means aims to do that. “When love comes knocking at your
door, just open up and let it in” …. Oh my, I am in a singing mood as I
contemplate the topic of love. When love enters the front door of ones heart it
seems that all common sense departs through the back door of our minds.
All caution
to the wind. Yet a key issue as one begins to fall in love and before one is
overcome by a deep desire to be intimate, one should contemplate firstly with
wisdom, mutual respect and understanding the risks involved. Using those
wonderful days of intense love to build a foundation of trust and respect based
on honesty and the ability to communicate about all things, not only the
wonderful matters of the heart, are key to developing a loving relationship
which will be able to prevent and protect one from the harm. This is the first
step towards a love that will stand the test of time.
Sexually
transmitted infections (also known as STIs or STDs for "sexually
transmitted diseases") are infectious diseases that spread from person to
person through intimate contact. STIs can affect guys and girls of all ages and
backgrounds who are having sex.
Unfortunately,
STIs have become very common among teens. Because teens become sexually active
earlier than before they too are at risk for getting some STIs, hence it is
important that they learn what they can do to protect themselves.
STIs are
more than just an embarrassment. They are a serious health problem. When an STI
is untreated, some can cause permanent damage, such as infertility (the
inability to have a baby) and even death (in the case of HIV/AIDS).
One reason
STIs spread is because people think they can only be infected if they have
sexual intercourse. That is wrong. A person can get some STIs, like herpes or
genital warts, through skin-to-skin contact with an infected area or sore.
Another myth
about STIs is that you cannot get them if you have oral or anal sex. That is also
wrong because the viruses or bacteria that cause STIs can enter the body
through tiny cuts or a tear in the mouth and anus, as well as the genitals.
STIs also
spread easily because you cannot tell whether someone has an infection if the
infection is in the asymptomatic stage. In fact, some people with STIs don't
even know that they have them (being asymptomatic). These people are in danger
of passing an infection on to their sex partners without even realising it.
Some of the
things that increase a person's chances of getting an STI are:
- Sexual activity at a young age. The younger
a person starts having sex, the greater his or her chances of becoming
infected with an STI.
- Lots of sex partners. People who have
sexual contact, not just intercourse, but any form of intimate activity,
with many different partners are more at risk than those who stay with the
same partner.
- Unprotected sex. Latex condoms are the only
form of birth control that reduce your risk of getting an STI, and must be
used every time. Spermicides, diaphragms, and other birth control methods
may help prevent pregnancy, but they do not protect a person against STIs.
Preventing and Treating STIs
As with many
other diseases, prevention of STIs is the key. It is much easier to prevent
STIs than to treat them. The only way to completely prevent STIs is to abstain
from all types of sexual contact. If someone is going to have sex, the best way
to reduce the chance of getting an STI is by using a condom every time.
People who
are considering having sex should get regular gynaecological or male genital
examinations. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, these exams give doctors
a chance to teach people about STIs and protecting themselves. And secondly,
regular exams give doctors more opportunities to check for STIs while they are
still in their earliest, most treatable stage.
In order for
these exams and visits to the doctor to be helpful, people need to tell their
doctors if they are thinking about having sex or if they have already started
having sex. This is true for all types of sex; oral, vaginal, and anal. Let the
doctor know if you have ever had any type of sexual contact, even if it was in
the past.
Do not let
embarrassment at the thought of having an STI keep you from seeking medical
attention. Waiting to see a doctor may allow a disease to progress and cause
more damage. If you think you may have an STI, or if you have had a partner who
may have an STI, you should see a doctor right away.
If you do
not have a doctor or prefer not to see your family doctor, you may be able to
find a local clinic in your area where you can get an exam confidentially.
Not all
infections in the genitals are caused by STIs. Sometimes people can get
symptoms that seem very like those of STIs, even though they have never had
sex. For girls, a yeast infection can easily be confused with an STI. Guys may
worry about bumps on the penis that turn out to be pimples or irritated hair
follicles. That is why it is important to see a doctor if you ever have
questions about your sexual health.
Talking about Condoms and Safe Sex
It is much smarter
to talk about condoms before having sex, but that doesn't make it easy. Some
people, even those who are already having sex, are embarrassed by the topic of
condoms. But not talking about condoms affects a person's safety. Using condoms
properly every time is the best protection against sexually transmitted diseases
(STIs), even if you are using another form of birth control like the Pill.
So how can
you overcome your embarrassment about talking about condoms? Well, for starters
it can help to know what a condom looks like, how it works, and what it's like
to handle one. Buy a box of condoms so you can familiarise yourself.
The next
thing to get comfortable with is bringing up the topic of condoms with a
partner. Practice opening lines. If you think your partner will object, work
out your response ahead of time. Here are some possibilities:
Your partner says: "It's uncomfortable."
You might
answer this by suggesting a different brand or size. Wearing a condom may also take some getting used to.
Your partner says: "It puts me right out of the mood."
Say that
having unsafe sex puts you right out of the mood. Permanently!
Your partner says: "If we really love each other, we should trust
each other."
Say that
it's because you love each other so much that you want to be sure you're both
safe and protect each other.
Your partner says: "Are you nervous about catching something?"
The natural
response: "Sometimes people don't even know when they have infections, so
it is better to be safe."
Your partner says: "I won't enjoy sex if we use a condom."
Say you
can't enjoy sex unless it's safe.
Conclusion:
Let me
continue to use the theme of love songs; is it possible to be “safe in the arms
of love”? Only by knowing ones risks and engaging in a loving and responsible
relationship with someone that you can feel safe and comfortable with. Loving
someone with whom you are able to communicate effectively and openly with. Being able to initiate discussions that are related
to all issues of health and safe sexual practices without fear or judgement
will enable you and your partner to develop a trusting and the intimate
relationship and it will protect you both. Do not play the blame game, rather
be responsible and have clearly defined actions in the event of one of the partners
testing positive with a STI. Getting tested together and ensure that both
receive treatment in the event of an STI is also important to effective
treatment.
Yes it is
possible to be, “safe in the arms of your love”.
I
need somebody who really cares
So
tired of livin' solitaire
Someday
I'm gonna be
Safe
in the arms of love…
Sung by
Martina McBride
Alan Brand
POSITIVELY ALIVE cc
Employee Wellness Consultant and Specialist Trainer
E-mail: albrand@iafrica.com
Website: www.positivelyalive.co.za
Images from Zwagain Graphics http://zwangaingraphics.co.za/pages/posters.html
