Saturday, November 30, 2013

Stigma and Discrimination - Obstacles to an Effective HIV and AIDS Response - World AIDS Day Message 2013


“Getting to Zero", I am of the opinion that Stigma is the final battle front in the war on HIV and AIDS. We have made unbelievable strides in care and treatment. Treatment as prevention (TASP) is in our hands, used correctly we can achieve the objective of "Zero New Infections" and soon "Zero AIDS Related Deaths" will become a reality, it is not impossible to have a vision of an AIDS free future! However, all these efforts will fail if we do not overcome stigma and discrimination. Getting to an 'AIDS Free Future' will require strong political will, effort and commitment from all if we wish to succeed and reach the target of "Getting to Zero Stigma and Discrimination". This final frontier must be overcome now! We cannot afford not to! Without wiping out stigma ....HIV and AIDS will continue to spread and the AIDS related deaths will continue unabated!  
             
Let us first reflect back on the past.
Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). I first heard those words more than 25 years ago. But it wasn't until eight years later; when I heard the following words from my doctor “your HIV test has come back positive”, that the reality of what it meant really hit me. By that time more than 4million South African’s had contracted HIV, and many thousands had died of AIDS. The disease had become real for me and for my colleagues in virtually every corner of the country.

So much about HIV/AIDS and the epidemic has changed since then. Yet one thing has not changed nearly enough -- HIV is now, as it was in 1980’s, the most stigmatised disease in South African society.
In the 1980’s, the stigma attached to HIV, while undeserved, was at least a little more understandable. We knew very little about the disease then. Fears of being infected from kissing, holding hands or sharing a cup with someone with HIV was still common.

Doctors and patients were scrambling to stir up scientific research programs that in many ways had been slow to respond. Despite a rapidly expanding caseload, there was very little reliable medical or scientific information about the virus, how it was transmitted, or what could be done to treat it.
In fact, effective HIV treatments were virtually non-existent at that time. The few medicines that were being used were no match for the virus,  treatments quickly became ineffective as resistance to these drugs occured. The treatment regimens often involved so many pills and such severe side effects that many people felt that taking their medicines every day was as difficult as the disease itself.

Too often, being HIV positive meant having to cope on your own. It wasn't uncommon for doctors and other healthcare workers to refuse to see patients who they knew were HIV positive. Social workers, lay counsellors and activists around the country responded at that time, and services for many people began, gradually, to improve.

The situation today is very different. We now know how HIV is transmitted, and we know how to prevent infection. Scientists have learned how HIV attacks the body's immune system, what its weaknesses are and how to exploit them. They've even mapped out the virus's genetic structure.

HIV treatments have also improved dramatically in recent years. With the introduction of powerful new drugs in the mid-1990s, HIV/AIDS death rates began to drop for the first time since the start of the epidemic. More recently, treatments that require fewer pills and cause fewer side effects have begun to help people with HIV/AIDS live longer, healthier and fulfilled lives. Thanks to these advances in care, HIV is well established as a chronic but medically manageable condition.

Support services for people with HIV have also improved. In practically every city across the country you will find community organisations and groups dedicated to helping ensure that HIV positive individuals get the care and support they need and deserve.

Yet, despite all this progress, the terrible stigma associated with HIV and AIDS continues unabated. Isolation, fear and shame continue to cloud this diagnosis of an HIV status for many.

What's worse is that the stigma surrounding HIV actually helps to perpetuate the epidemic. Most of the over six million South African’s estimated to be infected with HIV don't even know they have the virus. The cause of this reality is not ignorance as much as it is fear of rejection and discrimination. Each year, thousands of people who have contracted HIV do not get tested out of fear that an HIV positive diagnosis will mean a life of isolation and discrimination.

Misinformation accelerates the spread of HIV in communities across the Southern Africa, particularly among minority and poorer populations that already suffer more than their share of prejudice and discrimination. Despite progress in so many other areas, HIV infection rates continue to grow.

We can't afford to let another 20 years go by before we separate the myths surrounding HIV and AIDS from the reality. It's time we started seeing the disease for what it is: a serious communicable disease that is both avoidable and although still incurable has become very treatable and manageable. We need more open and frank education and more community leadership to address this epidemic. We must also target resources to address the changing demographics of the disease, so that information and education programs can be tailored to the audiences that need them most.

Finally, people living with HIV/AIDS must have access to the medical care, prevention and treatment information they need. Research advances have meant that more and more people with HIV are living full, normal lives. It's time that the human progress in how we handle HIV/AIDS in our community begins to match the advances being made in the research lab.

Give the following questions some thought:
Has the message about HIV/AIDS over the past 30 years helped or increased stigma and discrimination around HIV/AIDS? Consider the following:
  • Today, people with HIV are still stigmatised and continue to face many forms of discrimination.
  • Some people are refused employment or membership of employee benefit schemes.
  • Some people are refused proper health care and equal membership of medical schemes, or their children are victimised at schools. 
  • Many people are tested for HIV in our hospitals without giving informed consent, or are told about their HIV status without receiving proper counselling.
  • Breaches (breaking of) of confidentiality and privacy happen almost every day.


Why does stigma and discrimination help spread HIV? Consider the following: 
  • Is it who and what you are that puts you at high risk of contracting HIV, or 
  • Is it behaviour that puts you at greater risk          

How do we stop discrimination? Consider the following:
  • Can the law help?
  • Does having a constitution help?
  • Does having knowledge help?


Today, we know that stigma and discrimination has helped the spread of HIV. Discrimination has made it easy for people to blame others without protecting themselves. Instead of campaigns that educate everyone in our society, people have been taught to believe that HIV infection only happens to gay people, prostitutes and ‘people who sleep around’. If you are not gay, a prostitute, or promiscuous you are ‘safe’. This is not true.

  • Types of behaviour, not groups of people, put you at risk of HIV infection. 
  • For as long as people with HIV continue to face discrimination, people will be afraid to volunteer for an HIV test,
  • This means that it will be more likely that they will unknowingly pass HIV on to other people.
  • Unless people are encourages to come forward freely to tell others about their HIV status, ignorance and misunderstanding about HIV and who is affected by it will continue.


Discrimination is prejudice in action!
The non-legal definition of prejudice is “Preconceived judgments or decision; unreasonable predilection or objection; esp. an opinion or leaning adverse to anything without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge.”
Now that is a bit complicated so I am going to simplify it down to “illogical reaction to fears of anything outside ourselves”.   And, yes, people often have prejudices even when they have been presented with the facts that point to the fears being groundless.

The list of prejudices dreamed up by the public and especially public figures, educators, clerics, generals, and politicians is almost endless. Just about any complaint that has been thought of has soon had its associated prejudice.

In the First and Second World War hatred of Germans was considered national pride, even though a great percentage of the people who founded the United States were German.  In fact, In the USA, English as the national language won over German by just a few votes!

In the Second World War hatred of Japanese was even more irrational.  Driven by movies and the press, that hatred came to a fever pitch during the WW11.  Those of Japanese descent and Japanese on American soil were rounded up, thrown into concentration camps, and deprived of their land and possessions.  Amazingly enough, this did not happen to those of German descent!  Talk about irrational.

Now people in the United States can’t get enough of Japanese cars, computers, electronics, etc.  And they admire the German people for their cars, military, clean living, etc.  Talk about irrational.  But there it is: once the threat is past, all the bad things we perceived about the “enemy” are forgotten.

The best example of how prejudices, fuelled by fear creates myths and illogical reactions is the story of “Juliana’s cloth disease” of Tanzania.

The story goes as follows:
A handsome Ugandan trader arrived selling cloth for women’s kangas with a sort after patterned named Juliana. A village girl with no money traded sex for a kanga, as did several other women who converted the beautiful Juliana patterned cloth into a wrap or kanga. Some months later the first girl became sick: she had no appetite, could hold down no food, and had constant diarrhoea, which filled her with shame. In a few weeks she wasted away, grey and weak, and had to be carried everywhere. Before she died, two other women, also adorned in Juliana’s cloth, came down with the same strange disease. The people of Lukunya decided that the Ugandan was a witch, and that the Juliana cloth had evil powers. To conquer Juliana’s disease, traditional healers toiled to lift the stranger’s curse. But the curse was too powerful and the death toll continued to rise. Within a year the curse had spread to the neighbouring villages. Rumours of widespread witchcraft spread through the Kagera region, and traditional healers felt compelled to solve the Juliana mystery. (Garrett, 1995:334-335)

In 1995 doctors identified that the reported cases of wasting disease (“Juliana’s disease”) in Kagera, Tanzania as AIDS cases, based on comparisons with published symptoms in the medical journals in the U.S.
However the story does illustrate how people can experience the world in a unique and very specific way that is different from the way in which others experience it. Understanding these beliefs and not simply laughing them off as silly prejudices that result from ignorance is critical to our ability to address HIV and AIDS prevention messages in Africa.

Below is an exert taken from Alan’s recently published book called, “Positively Alive” published by Jacana, 2005 which is available at Exclusive Books.

Positively Alive
I remember the first World AIDS Day celebration that I attended in 1998. A number of HIV/AIDS organisation rallied together to commemorate the event at Zoo Lake in Johannesburg. It was only a small gathering of people but the event made a huge impact on me at the time. Beautiful, haunting music was being played from a car radio. The event was more a memorial ceremony than a celebration. As the sun set, a prayer was said and everyone was given the opportunity to light floating candles. These were then placed on the lake in memory of loved ones that had died of AIDS. As I watched, I was struck by an overwhelming sense of the hopelessness and loss that each candle represented. To make matters worse a gentle breeze was blowing and as each candle was placed on the water it would simply flicker and die. Hands reach out to try and keep them protected from the breeze. A few managed to be re-lit only to quickly fade and sink beneath the water. The entire event reflected the hopelessness and lack of ability to do anything for those infected at that point in time.
In this time of despair, I was forced to consider the purpose of my life. As I began to examine my belief structures I entered into a holistic approach to health through the crisis of this terminal illness. I have learnt so much and become a far more spiritually mature person.
So much has changed since 1998. HIV is now classified as a chronic manageable disease with continuing improvements in the availability of medical treatment. Much more is known about the effects of balanced nutrition in relation to maintaining a healthy immune system. The effect that stress has on the individuals’ ability to heal is well documented.
The HI virus, however, continues to affect millions of people throughout the world. The traumas experienced by so many people infected by HIV and AIDS indicates that health is generated by a balance of the emotional, psychological and spiritual aspects that form the core of who we are.  In the same way that my being HIV-positive has brought a crisis into my family so the planetary family is facing the same crisis of HIV. We will never be able to overcome this epidemic by individual responses. By begin to think of ourselves as united in our efforts – firstly healing ourselves – and then our relationship to each other; we can embrace the reality of healing our planet. If it is true that, “AIDS is, indeed a virus that thrives on “victim” consciousness, fear responses and isolation” - Caroline M. Myss then surely love with compassion and acceptance will go along way in helping those affected by HIV and AIDS to remain ‘Positively Alive’.

Contact Alan Brand from Positively Alive should you wish to inquire about a quotation to host the accredited workplace related employee wellness and training modules at your workplace, these courses are facilitated by Alan Brand from Positively Alive, and   include amongst others the highly successful: “Mitigation of HIV and AIDS related stigma & discrimination in the workplace – Training Module”.

Alan Brand
POSITIVELY ALIVE cc
Employee Wellness Consultant and Specialist Trainer


Friday, February 8, 2013

Love Hurts, Love Scars, Love Wounds and Marks …!


Valentine's Message 14 Feb 2013 - STI and Condom Awareness Week 10 - 16 February 2013


Love hurts, love scars
Love wounds, and marks
Any heart, not tough
Or strong enough

To take a lot of pain
Take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud
Holds a lot of rain….

The above lyrics come from the famous song “Love Hurts", written and composed by Boudleaux Bryant and first recorded by “The Everly Brothers” in July 1960.

Love is that intense feeling of deep affection for someone and expressed through a deep romantic or sexual attachment. So does love hurt?

Alicia Keys reminds that “Love is blind”. So many songs have been written about the emotions, feelings and realities of being in love.  Is love blind?

A simple quick answer would not be sufficient to satisfy all that the mystery of love brings with it. This article by no means aims to do that. “When love comes knocking at your door, just open up and let it in” …. Oh my, I am in a singing mood as I contemplate the topic of love. When love enters the front door of ones heart it seems that all common sense departs through the back door of our minds.

All caution to the wind. Yet a key issue as one begins to fall in love and before one is overcome by a deep desire to be intimate, one should contemplate firstly with wisdom, mutual respect and understanding the risks involved. Using those wonderful days of intense love to build a foundation of trust and respect based on honesty and the ability to communicate about all things, not only the wonderful matters of the heart, are key to developing a loving relationship which will be able to prevent and protect one from the harm. This is the first step towards a love that will stand the test of time.

Sexually transmitted infections (also known as STIs or STDs for "sexually transmitted diseases") are infectious diseases that spread from person to person through intimate contact. STIs can affect guys and girls of all ages and backgrounds who are having sex.

Unfortunately, STIs have become very common among teens. Because teens become sexually active earlier than before they too are at risk for getting some STIs, hence it is important that they learn what they can do to protect themselves.

STIs are more than just an embarrassment. They are a serious health problem. When an STI is untreated, some can cause permanent damage, such as infertility (the inability to have a baby) and even death (in the case of HIV/AIDS).

One reason STIs spread is because people think they can only be infected if they have sexual intercourse. That is wrong. A person can get some STIs, like herpes or genital warts, through skin-to-skin contact with an infected area or sore.

Another myth about STIs is that you cannot get them if you have oral or anal sex. That is also wrong because the viruses or bacteria that cause STIs can enter the body through tiny cuts or a tear in the mouth and anus, as well as the genitals.
STIs also spread easily because you cannot tell whether someone has an infection if the infection is in the asymptomatic stage. In fact, some people with STIs don't even know that they have them (being asymptomatic). These people are in danger of passing an infection on to their sex partners without even realising it.

Some of the things that increase a person's chances of getting an STI are:
  • Sexual activity at a young age. The younger a person starts having sex, the greater his or her chances of becoming infected with an STI.
  • Lots of sex partners. People who have sexual contact, not just intercourse, but any form of intimate activity, with many different partners are more at risk than those who stay with the same partner.
  • Unprotected sex. Latex condoms are the only form of birth control that reduce your risk of getting an STI, and must be used every time. Spermicides, diaphragms, and other birth control methods may help prevent pregnancy, but they do not protect a person against STIs.

Preventing and Treating STIs
As with many other diseases, prevention of STIs is the key. It is much easier to prevent STIs than to treat them. The only way to completely prevent STIs is to abstain from all types of sexual contact. If someone is going to have sex, the best way to reduce the chance of getting an STI is by using a condom every time.

People who are considering having sex should get regular gynaecological or male genital examinations. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, these exams give doctors a chance to teach people about STIs and protecting themselves. And secondly, regular exams give doctors more opportunities to check for STIs while they are still in their earliest, most treatable stage.

In order for these exams and visits to the doctor to be helpful, people need to tell their doctors if they are thinking about having sex or if they have already started having sex. This is true for all types of sex; oral, vaginal, and anal. Let the doctor know if you have ever had any type of sexual contact, even if it was in the past.

Do not let embarrassment at the thought of having an STI keep you from seeking medical attention. Waiting to see a doctor may allow a disease to progress and cause more damage. If you think you may have an STI, or if you have had a partner who may have an STI, you should see a doctor right away.

If you do not have a doctor or prefer not to see your family doctor, you may be able to find a local clinic in your area where you can get an exam confidentially.

Not all infections in the genitals are caused by STIs. Sometimes people can get symptoms that seem very like those of STIs, even though they have never had sex. For girls, a yeast infection can easily be confused with an STI. Guys may worry about bumps on the penis that turn out to be pimples or irritated hair follicles. That is why it is important to see a doctor if you ever have questions about your sexual health.

Talking about Condoms and Safe Sex
It is much smarter to talk about condoms before having sex, but that doesn't make it easy. Some people, even those who are already having sex, are embarrassed by the topic of condoms. But not talking about condoms affects a person's safety. Using condoms properly every time is the best protection against sexually transmitted diseases (STIs), even if you are using another form of birth control like the Pill.

So how can you overcome your embarrassment about talking about condoms? Well, for starters it can help to know what a condom looks like, how it works, and what it's like to handle one. Buy a box of condoms so you can familiarise yourself.

The next thing to get comfortable with is bringing up the topic of condoms with a partner. Practice opening lines. If you think your partner will object, work out your response ahead of time. Here are some possibilities:

Your partner says: "It's uncomfortable."
You might answer this by suggesting a different brand or size. Wearing a condom may also  take some getting used to.

Your partner says: "It puts me right out of the mood."
Say that having unsafe sex puts you right out of the mood. Permanently!

Your partner says: "If we really love each other, we should trust each other."
Say that it's because you love each other so much that you want to be sure you're both safe and protect each other.

Your partner says: "Are you nervous about catching something?"
The natural response: "Sometimes people don't even know when they have infections, so it is better to be safe."

Your partner says: "I won't enjoy sex if we use a condom."
Say you can't enjoy sex unless it's safe.

Conclusion:
Let me continue to use the theme of love songs; is it possible to be “safe in the arms of love”? Only by knowing ones risks and engaging in a loving and responsible relationship with someone that you can feel safe and comfortable with. Loving someone with whom you are able to communicate effectively and openly with.  Being able to initiate discussions that are related to all issues of health and safe sexual practices without fear or judgement will enable you and your partner to develop a trusting and the intimate relationship and it will protect you both. Do not play the blame game, rather be responsible and have clearly defined actions in the event of one of the partners testing positive with a STI. Getting tested together and ensure that both receive treatment in the event of an STI is also important to effective treatment. 
Yes it is possible to be, “safe in the arms of your love”.
I need somebody who really cares
So tired of livin' solitaire
Someday I'm gonna be
Safe in the arms of love…
Sung by Martina McBride
Alan Brand
POSITIVELY ALIVE cc
Employee Wellness Consultant and Specialist Trainer

Images from Zwagain Graphics http://zwangaingraphics.co.za/pages/posters.html

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

1 December 2012 - WORLD AIDS DAY


GETTING TO ZERO

Working Together for an AIDS-Free Generation


   12 Million South Africans have tested and know their HIV status!

By knowing your status you too can be a part of the solution and contribute towards GETTING TO ZERO…

Zero New HIV Infections
Zero Discrimination
 
Zero AIDS Related Deaths
Alan Brand 
POSITIVELY ALIVE cc
Employee Wellness Consultant and Specialist Trainer
CK2010/00285/23
Mobile: +27 (82) 453-0560
Direct Line: +27 (11) 482-5605
Fax to mail: 086 245 6833

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Circle of Life - Lessons from: The Lion King
Timon
Pumba

There is a particular scene in the Lion King movie where Rafiki, who is the wise
old monkey, finds Simba who has run away after being blamed for his father’s
death and is living with his new friends, Pumba and Timon. Simba turns to the
monkey and says:
Simba: Creepy little monkey. Will you stop following me? Who are you?
Rafiki: The question is; Whooo…are you?
Rafiki continues to try to persuade Simba that he must return to “Pride Rock”
and take his rightful place in the circle of life as the lion king. But Simba says:
Simba: I know what I have to do. But going back means I’ll have to face my past. I’ve been running from it for so long.
Simba and Lala
Rafiki whacks Simba on his head.
Simba: Oww! Jeez…what was that for? 
Rafiki: It doesn’t matter; it’s in the past 
Simba: (rubbing his head) Yeah, but it still hurts.
Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt, but the way I see it, you can either run from it,
or learn from it.
Rafiki

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

I AM A HIV+ BISEXUAL MAN AND I AM ALIVE AND WELL AND LIVING IN SOUTH AFRICA

I recently received a heartfelt letter written by a member of an internet support network that I am the creator and administrator (www.Positively-Alive.com). This letter has helped me to be more aware and open to the reality of bisexuality. It is due to his letter that I feel the need to raise awareness to the reality of the issues so many bisexual men and women face. With his permission I will be quoting from his letter throughout this article. The reality of an HIV+ diagnosis and the process and time it requires for any individual to come to terms with the shock of such a diagnosis, highlights the importance of having a support structure or the ability to find people that one can talk to as they can greatly assist the individual through this process.

The author of the anonymous letter writes: “The Positively Alive website and the group’s support/forum meetings proved to be invaluable in my journey. I found out about my status a little over a year ago and met you and the guys two weeks later. Those first days were unimaginable. For quite some time I was even suicidal; it is just so overwhelming, that feeling that I can't explain - None of us can, but we've all been there! Just knowing that you’re not alone makes it easier to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Interaction with other positive guys is essential. It's was the only thing that made the discovery of my HIV status manageable.”

The fact that many people do not disclose their HIV status to loved ones is directly linked to the reality that more often than not, such a disclosure would include the disclosure of ones sexuality. Consider the silence around HIV and how this is increased by the direct feelings of fear of rejection when a young man discovers he is HIV+ and doesn’t tell his parents, because telling them that he is HIV+ would mean disclosing that he is sexually active or a further example would be a husband that does not tell his wife because this will mean a potential disclose of infidelity. Not only does the HIV+ bisexual man have to consider all these real issues but he also finds himself with the added reality that an HIV+ disclosure might also mean revealing the secret of his sexual identity.

Anonymous letter continues: “I haven't come out publically, but I do know that a certain amount of relief comes with letting your loved ones know. I have only been able to tell one family member so far. The huge mental and emotional impact that HIV has on someone is most probably the greatest of all challenges. There are physical ailments which come along with it, most of which can easily be treated; I have learnt so much about my body over the past 12 months. A good diet and exercise is an everyday occurrence in my life. I'm in such a good space and although we know that it has the potential to be a big deal if left untreated when treatment is required, it really isn’t such a big deal at all! Believe me, I do get it, but there’s no point in beating myself up about it for the rest of my life. I need to enjoy life to live long and live strong. If I’m regretting it then I’m holding onto something that overshadows every moment of every day. We can’t allow ourselves to think like that. I know you're "there" and because of you so am I. I was privileged enough to stumble upon some footage of you. I attended the training that you offered, last year. Thank you for everything that you have done for so many of us.”

Men who have sex with men or (MSM)
I have deliberately not been using the term MSM because it is not the term that the author of the letter has selected to use when referring to his sexuality. The term MSM is used by medical experts, psychologists and others to highlight and identity the existence of men who have sex with men. The reality is that the general public does not use the terminology MSM (men who have sex with men). Surely it would be better to ask a person in which manner they prefer to identify themselves sexually? It is important however, that we acknowledge and recognise the existence of men who have sex with men (MSM) and the importance of incorporating their existence into our health and wellness initiatives. According to a research published in the Health4Men’s booklet “MSM IN YOUR POCKET, Sexual Healthcare for Men who have Sex with Men”, up to 50% of men who have sex with men (MSM) identify as heterosexual and have female sex partners. The booklet further describes MSM as follows: Male to male sex occurs throughout Africa, in all cultures, societies and geographical locations. Not all MSM identify as homosexual or gay. Many such men may be married, have children and have sex with women. Many have “masculine” gender identity and cannot be identified as being MSM by their dress, mannerisms or social roles. They may see themselves as heterosexual (or even as the author of the letter indicates as bisexual). The diversity of men included in the term MSM are men who are heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual and who can be either relatively masculine or effeminate in their dress and mannerisms.

Anonymous writes: “I'm not sure if you do know, but I am in actual fact bisexual. This is also something which I've had to accept of myself, there's a large amount of guys who are bisexual but can’t accept this of themselves – this applies mostly to “straight” guys, but also some “gay” guys (guys who are more accepted by the gay community than the straight community). I feel like I’m coming out of the closet all over again. To be attracted to both sexes is quite widely thought of as unusual / odd, etc. often even more so than coming out / labelling yourself as gay. I have had girlfriends in the past and now I have one again. Being with a woman again has raised more concerns in regards to what's safe and what's not with her. Guys and girls do obviously have quite different anatomies. I love every part of my female partners body as I have loved every part of past male partners bodies. Alas, there have been more guys than girls, but for some reason I keep “relapsing” (hahaha) back to women. My partner knows my status and my sexual orientation, she's negative and straight (but that’s beside the point). We've educated ourselves as to what's safe and what's not.”

As a gay man I am open about my homosexual identity and have disclosed my sexuality to my family, employers and friends and have been received with love and acceptance. It is very sad that we are not more tolerant and so many of us simply consider bisexual men to simply be a man that has not come to terms with his sexuality. The gay community has over many years fought hard to be accepted for who we are, bisexual and gay rights are protected by the constitution of South African. The South African constitution provides for freedom, tolerance and acceptance of our rights to live in a society free from discrimination based on sexual orientation, yet how intolerant we can be towards others if they are different to ourselves. If someone identifies as being bisexual we are quick to dismiss the idea and respond with intolerance and a total lack of acceptance and understanding. How often have we uttered the words “another gay man not able to accept that he is actually gay and is just in denial?” Bisexuality has as much right to exist and be recognised as my desire to be recognised as being gay, or whatever sexual orientation I might classify myself as. The letter has opened my eyes and I hope it too will help to open yours. I think we all can take the time to evaluate or responses, health services and employee wellness interventions by answering the following questions:
  • Is your programme tolerant of bisexual men/women or does it embrace and include messaging directed towards the needs of bisexuals?
  • Do your healthcare workers and practitioners, through ignorance and a lack of understanding, label bisexual men as being gay when they do not classify themselves in this way, hence causing them to feel excluded and misunderstood?
  • Do your wellness interventions, peer educator programme and EAP services provide a confidential and safe environment where bisexual men/women are accepted and understood? 
  • Do ignorance and a lack of understanding of those providing care and support services cause bisexual men/women to experience feelings of isolation and intolerance?
  • Do we make bisexual men/women feel incorporated and do we directly address them in communication strategies, awareness and information messaging, or are your HIV intervention and other health and wellness messages only directed towards heterosexuality and homosexuality people?
  • Have we made an effort to understand what the needs of bisexual men/women are?
  • Do we listen and are we educating ourselves so that we have a better understanding of the needs of the general and sexual health issues as well as the psychological needs of bisexual people?
  • Do we dictate our own values and principles on others, thereby contributing to their isolation and victimisation?
Consider the following - Discrimination is prejudice in action. Now with an open mind, read more from the anonymous letter below and I trust that if this honest and open hearted letter might help us all to become better loving and more tolerant human beings.

Anonymous writes: “My point is, although the site says it caters for all spectrums of men who have sex with men (MSM, the gay community seems opposed to this label. As a bisexual man I am also capable of falling in love and having meaningful relationships with both sexes. I’m sure that MSM should be viewed as a medical term only and that the emotional and spiritual aspects of us as gay / bi men should be left out of it. My perception is that everyone who attends the support group meetings is gay. Please correct me if I’m wrong? Bisexual guys are a bit different to gay guys... I’m the only bisexual guy I know who’s openly bisexual. Kind of like being the only gay in the village – LOL”

I have felt quite isolated at times, The Triangle Project has been absolutely amazing for me, and they have provided free counselling but also seem more geared toward the more mainstream (gay) positive guys.”

According to Health4Men statistically, it is likely that every service provider seeing more than 20 male clients per day has interacted with an MSM. It is often assumed that, unless male clients are openly gay, that they only have sex with women. MSM may be reluctant to volunteer their sexual history to a healthcare provider who is perceived to be judgemental, and may fear being embarrassed or ashamed in hostile communities where there is doubt about confidentiality at the healthcare facility. The following could be useful for healthcare providers when working with a male client:
  • Any male client could potentially be an MSM. Don’t assume that a male client only has sex with women.
  • A professional, non-judgemental attitude must be maintained.
  • Confidentiality must be discussed with clients, especially in a hostile community. The client’s sexual identity and related information may be omitted from the file.
  • Learn about the local MSM scene and associated terms and words. Peer educators and non governmental organisations are often helpful. Talk to your MSM client to learn more about their lives and lifestyles.
  • Be sensitive when interacting with male clients. Do not automatically use feminine pronouns such as “she” when referring to sexual partners.
  • Be sensitive with transgender clients, Transgender people experience a level of conflict with their birth sex (male or female), and may incorporate factors such as dress, roles or mannerisms usually associated with the other gender in their daily lives.
  • When dressed as a woman, a man may feel more comfortable being address as a female. If unsure, ask the client how they would prefer to be addressed.

MSM guidelines for healthcare providers can be obtained from the www.Health4Men.co.za website or by contacting them on 021 421 6127.
 

Compiled by: Alan Brand
Positively Alive
E-mail: albrand@iafrica.com
For more on the Positively Alive support network for HIV+ Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or MSM visit www.Positively-Alive.com

Monday, May 14, 2012

HIV = HUMILITY, INTEGRITY, VICTORIOUS

As I consider the focus on Men's Health in the month of June, I reflect on a special young man that has made a life changing impact on me. One might argue that this young boy could not be classified as a man by any standards, nor for that matter by the Oxford Dictionary however his age and frail being are hardly what defines him as a man. He was but a boy who died in his teens yet in all reality he was braver than many other who so glibly call themselves a man.

Nkosi Johnson life was short lived and I never had the privilege of standing in his presence, and yet he made an impression on me that few men have made. In a video clip made to promote a living positively publication, this brave young man relates how he was asked by a friend at school if he was sick and in total humility and with and unrivalled bravely, his sad little eyes looking straight into the camera he answers, "Yes I am sick". His friend then asks him, "What is wrong?" With his head held high he responds "I have HIV".

No matter how many times I have watched this video a tear always comes to my eye. Not a tear of sadness for a boy’s life so brief, I weep in sadness that I never had the privilege to kneel down and listen to what this brave soul could have taught me. I consider the many that are quick to call themselves men and yet have not had the courage to break the silence, or take responsibility for being infected with exactly the same illness this brave boy had. How many have died in denial to ashamed to admit the reality as Nkosi so bravely did?

What makes a man? Is it the ability to lie and deceive or does truth, honesty and humility make the man? Personally it is this young man that I wish to follow. As I started coming to terms with my own HIV status I made a decision to never deny that I am infected with HIV for if one so young could be brave enough to stand up at the International AIDS Conference and deliver the opening address at a time when the president of his country was in denial about the existence of HIV, then surely I too in his honour must follow his path and break the silence and speak the truth without shame, brave and yet so humble. Nkosi you gave me heart for you taught me to be courageous but with humility.

Last year I was fortunate to be in the presence of a wise man who addressed a classroom of newly trained HIV/AIDS Peer educators from the SAPS in Pretoria. Newly appointed as the head of corporate and employee wellness the general was addressing the candidates at the completion of a 4-day training programme, I had presented. He told a story of a man who wanted to leave a legacy behind before he died and was looking for some way of doing so that would stand the test of time.

He consulted an elder in his village who suggested he write his story in the sand on the beach. He proceeded to do so but no sooner had he started than the tide came in and washed away what he had written. He went back to the elder and told him what had happened and the wise elder told him of a huge oak tree that had stood for many years on the banks of a river on the outskirts of the village. Go and carve your story in the bark of the tree surely it will remain for all to read for eternity. The man did as told but half way through carving his legacy in the tree a team of workers arrived and told him they had come to chop down the tree to make way for a new bridge that was being built across the river.


Disheartened the man returned again to the elder and told him what had happened. Ah, said the elder, it would be wise to engrave your legacy in the rock face of the mountains over looking the village. At last the man thought this would stand the test of time and he would leave his legacy for all to admire throughout time.

He set about the laborious task spending years engraving his legacy in the rock face. Finally the task almost complete, he returned one last time to hammer the final few words into the rock face. But as he climbed the mountain he noticed that the weather had eroded the rock in so many places that his legacy was fading with time. Totally disheartened he went in search of the elder and found him on his death bed.


Sadly he told the old man what had happened and the elder said you have spent your years trying to leave a legacy in sand, wood and stone and yet nothing has remained and stood the test of time. What have you learnt? The man said he did not know! He begged the frail old man to share the secret. How do I leave a legacy that will stand the test of time? Before the elder could answer he passed away.

In sadness the man left and as he walked through the village the news of the elders passing was being related to the people in the village. The man heard people telling stories of the greatness of the elder, the kindness of his dreads, stories of his honesty and integrity and great wisdom. Suddenly the man understood. Write your legacy on the hearts of man and your legacy will stand the test of time.

As the general ended his story he told those he was addressing that they where wise just like the elder of the village. Making a difference in the lives of others would stand the test of time. The decision that they had made to set themselves apart, volunteering as HIV/AIDS peer educators would leave a legacy in the hearts of many.

As a person living with HIV I am often referred to as a sufferer, or a victim of AIDS. I have seen lesser words take away the power of greater men. What happened that gave me the strength and courage to never hear these words as a sword driven into me heart or soul but always as an opportunity to educate, and change the minds of those I come into contact with? I feel so small at times and wonder how I can possibly make a difference. It is at these times that I remember the boldness of a young man telling his friend that he has HIV. I hear his friend ask him, "Are you going to die?" And I hear Nkosi Johnson's sweet angelic voice answer. "Yes I have AIDS."

I am HIV positive and thanks to Nkosi Johnson's legacy I have become victorious as in his honour I embrace and take ownership for my status. Yes, I too will one day die more likely of an AIDS related illness but I have had the privilege and been given the opportunity to write my legacy in the hearts of many.

I challenge all men to stop the silence, denial and shame around HIV. As men we have the power to stop the spread of this virus but only if we take ownership and cast away the denial we can leave a new legacy, one that stand for HUMILITY, INTEGRITY and VICTORY.

By: Alan Brand
Positively Alive
www.positivelyalive.co.za - Employee Consultant and Specialist HIV and Employee Wellness Training provider

www.Positivey-Alive.com in support of HIV+ gay, bisexual and transgender (MSM) men in South Africa